If you’re unfamiliar with the concept of a massage candle, think of it like… a CWB (candle with benefits). Since candles are already hella sexy with their flickering light and delicious aromas, when I heard about massage candles, my mind was low-key blown. Unlike hot wax that can burn you, a massage candle melts into a mixture of oils that you can use for massages or sensual touching during foreplay. If I’ve caught your attention, and you’re still wondering how to use massage candles in bed, look no further than the list of tips below.
If you have been curious about incorporating sex toys or products into the bedroom, massage candles could be a good place to start. They’re a really great tool to set the mood with your partner, and giving someone a massage can be a really sweet and intimate way to show them affection. Imagine coming home from a long day to a candle flickering on the night stand and a partner waiting to relieve that tension in your neck and shoulders. When it comes to sex toys and products, the plethora of options and devices can sometimes be overwhelming at first. Massage candles are a great reminder that sex products and toys are about being creative and doing whatever is in within both of your comfort zones.
To learn more about massage candles and how to safely incorporate them into your sex life, I talked with Carol Queen, sex toy store Good Vibrations’ staff sexologist about how to use massage candles safely and sexily.
WHAT IS A MASSAGE CANDLE?
Massage candles are made of skin-safe oils that have a low melting point, according to Queen. Low melting points mean that the material the candle is made of melts at a lower temperature, meaning it is safer to use on skin because it is not as hot as regular candle wax. When you light the wick, the heat melts the firm candle into a skin-safe oil.
Numerous sex toy companies develop massage candles with aromas that are specifically designed to get you and your partner in the mood like Maude’s massage candle “Burn.” Scents like amber, cedar leaf, lemongrass are intended to foster a warm, intimate, and sensual environment.
HOW DO YOU USE THEM?
Dina Epstein, co-director of the sex product brand Maude, recommends that you light the candle for a little while to allow it to melt, and then blow it out before utilizing the oil. You can either pour some of the melted oil onto a plate or dip clean fingers into the melted candle. Clean fingers are important because you don’t want microbes to build up in the oil.
Queen adds that you should also place the candle away from any flammable materials like curtains or blankets. If you want it to be closer to your bed for easy access, consider placing it on your bedside table, or another stable surface like a chair next to your bed. As long as you keep in mind where it is while you and your partner continue you on with foreplay or sex, the candle can fill your room with a sensual aroma and lighting.
Queen recommends more experienced partners could consider playing with a blindfold as well. That way, the sensation of touch is heightened by the warmth from the oil and the mystery from the blindfold.
WHY DO DO THEY WORK?
“Massage and sensual touch are a great way to increase comfort, relaxation, intimacy, and arousal,” Queen explains. She also adds that using warm oil during touch adds another level of sensuality and enjoyment. “This is because the skin is a sensual organ and touch is one profound way to connect with a partner and raise sexual energy,” she says.
To increase you and your partner’s enjoyment of the massage candle, it never hurts to research massage techniques if you have never given someone a massage before. The back, neck, shoulder, buttocks, and behind the knees are great places to start a massage.
WHAT’S THE SAFEST WAY TO USE THEM?
“Massage candles are way safer than other candles because the molten oil isn’t as hot as paraffin wax,” explains Queen. However, since they are still candles, they should be treated with caution. Make sure to assess your bedroom for fire hazards before starting to use the candle.
Although massage candles are skin-safe products, Queen explains that they not safe to use for sexual lubricant. Not only are they not safe for use on genital areas, but oils can also damage latex materials like condoms or dental dams.
Where to get massage?